peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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