There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
