Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
