also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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