does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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