I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Let's get the cat blown out
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
