I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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