Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
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we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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