Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
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dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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