i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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