No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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