why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
