You're my little dorito
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
