We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
