Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
