i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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