There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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