my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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