Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize