I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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