Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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