Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
