i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize