:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
