i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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