i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
