I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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