Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
