just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
