I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
