omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
