My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Every concussion has its silver lining
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
