Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
