you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
