Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
