hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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