If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
