i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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