She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
