You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
