he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
