There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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