C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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