you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
