so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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