chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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