I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
