If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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