Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
