He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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