You work out of a Hotel?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
