Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ladies don't puke and tell
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