Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
