If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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