I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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