I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
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getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
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Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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