it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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