i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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