shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
