Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You ruined the universe
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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